Be Nice. Or Else…
I’m getting kind of tired of everyone being so mean. As I finished writing a comment on a friend’s article at Salon.com I read through the other ones. It was astounding how nasty and judgmental people were being. Just downright malicious. It was as if it made sense to totally denigrate and insult someone simply because they wrote an article and published it online.
I know one reason people are so mean: Trump. He says nothing positive about anyone or anything except himself. And sometimes — creepily — about his daughter Ivanka. He shifts blame, insults citizens and politicians alike and is basically a one-man wrecking crew for the integrity and reputation of the United States. So, I get that people are emboldened by this. People say, “Oh, look…the president of the United States is acting like an unmitigated bully, so I guess it’s okay if I trash my neighbor or elected official or child’s teacher, too.” And they do. All over the Internet, social media, in the newspapers and around town people are spewing negativity and hatred upon anything from US policy to coffee shops. I’m not kidding about the coffee shop thing — I recently posted a picture on Facebook from the new Starbucks in town and one man apparently needed to tell me it’s nothing but elitist crap. Why?
Mean is the new black, that’s why. One of the issues that has been simmering with me is being called a baby killer. Not that anyone has called me that to my face, but I’m a Democrat. And that’s pretty much what Democrats are being characterized as recently — from our president: “The Democrat(ic) position on abortion is now so extreme that they don’t mind executing babies AFTER birth.” The president of the country in which I am a citizen thinks it’s okay to refer to me as baby executioner. I have never had to make the soul-crushing decision to have an abortion, but I know women who have. It’s the worst. So, don’t go around calling people baby-killers. Okay? It’s not true and it’s immensely mean.
Even the ubiquity of the gentle, cloud-shaped “Be Kind” car magnet isn’t enough to stem this rising tide of callousness and cruelty. One of the old sayings I heard growing up in my family was: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I have since learned to amend that because, you know, I’m a smartass. Smartasses often don’t have something nice to say, but I would have stopped talking years ago had I followed that early direction. I think we need something a little stronger than a reminder to be kind to others to push back the arrogance of heartlessness that touches every topic, in every place of our society.
So, I’m done with mean. I have a gentle reminder on my bookshelf to be nice — or leave. That wards against mean in my home and in my head, but I feel like a little more strength is needed if I am going to defy mean as it needs to be out in the world. I’m ready to get tough on mean. There is no place for mean. Mean needs to leave.
Fuck mean.